LOVE <3 LOVE <3

Saturday, August 05, 2006

i wanted to blog since a very long time ago. about people and issues that had been on my mind for quite some time. its just hard to find time to come online. especialli when my brother hogged onto the comp like nobody's business. he and his maple. pouts.
i swear i was the stupidest girl on earth. how can i be so stupid to reveal the greatest secret on earth. hmph. no more surprise. bah. i hate myself for being so clumsy. :(
relationships are perplex. i cant agree more to this sentence. when u least expected any two homosepians to share a close relationship, u had to find yourself in a suituation whereby u had to witness all that they share, or even findin yourself thinking about what they are doing when you are stoning at some corner of a cafe, what they were doing when you try to keep yourself busy by drowning urself in endless tutorials and revision and what they will be doing.
its something i can never stop doing, and i wonder why. i have many other better things to do, but when i stop keeping myself occupied, i start to think of the past, the present and the future. my past was crap. full of shit. sometimes i wished i could turn back time. i think its just human nature to be greedy. you cant be satisfied with what you have and what you not have. if only i didnt push u away. many things wouldnt have happened. if only things were put clearer in the way that we both understood what we want and what we felt. but at least for now, i guess its not too late. its fated that i had to go thru all these to realise what kind of life i want to pursue.
and thank you for making me realised that many interesting facts and allowing me to experience life fully. yes, its true that memories cannot be erased away, and i cant get over certain things no matter how hard i try. but i just have to keep on trying, keep moving, keep creating better and happier memories so as to keep certain hurtful memories that will bring back emotions deep inside, so as to prevent them from hindering my goals and happiness. i remember telling you my fears, i wondered if u could hear the sobs and chokes over at the other end. i remember you telling me yours. and i silently made myself promise that i wont be stupid again. now, i see a different future, with a slight change in perspective, with a little anticipation.
you taught me how to be stronger, you wiped my tears now, when you were, then, one of the main contributor to my tears. thank you, for not leaving me in the end. i treasure you. and i love you:) i dont need the whole world to feel love and cherished. i need only one.
keep me in your heart aways.

shedded at 10:21 AM